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LOOK APPROACHABLE
Real women aren’t interested in men
who are obviously too engrossed in
themselves. You see the type all the
time. He’s the one standing in the pub
not getting served because he’s too busy
preening and pouting into the mirror
behind the bar. He’s the one that looks
too perfect, too pristine. We’re talking
high-maintenance and that is such a
turn-off. We can tell at a glance that you
would have to fight to get him out of the bathroom in the morning and even then
he’ll have used all the hot water, as well
as the ridiculously expensive sheep’splacenta
eye cream that your best friend
brought you back from Japan. Just by
catching someone’s eye and smiling will
show if she has any interest in you. If
she doesn’t respond, at least you haven’t
wasted precious time — and, God forbid,
a drink — for nothing. Remember, you’re
not George Clooney.
MAKE ’EM LAUGH
If you were at the back of the queue when
they were handing out good looks, don’t
worry. All is not lost. There isn’t a female
alive who doesn’t like a man that can make
them laugh. Given the choice of romance
or humour, most women would rather
someone laughed them into bed. I have
friends who have dated the oddest-looking
men. Occasionally, I’ve been introduced to
these poor unfortunates and have thought,
“Has she gone completely mad?” only to
find that I’ve got it totally wrong — having
laughed in their company all evening and
been charmed beyond belief. I tell myself
not to be so shallow in future and award
top marks to my lucky girlfriend
PAY ATTENTION
Be attentive, but don’t go overboard.
Listen to what she has to say instead of
launching into a whole dialogue of what
or who you like. Ask questions about her
and try not to be combative. Open doors
and be generally polite. My boyfriend
used to be a complete and utter bastard.
Now he’s just a bastard, a definite
improvement. At least he tries, bless him
BE CONFIDENT
If you’re not naturally sexy, just tell
yourself you feel sexy. It will show on your
face. Models do it all the time. Women
are
suckers for eyes. It’s the first thing
they notice. Many years ago I introduced
a boyfriend to my granny who I was sure
she
would have liked. “He’s got the devil
in his eyes,” she said after meeting him.
“Yes he has”, I agreed, licking my lips.
She was right. It’s as easy as that.
BE SUCCESSFUL
It’s a great aphrodisiac. Hit the headlines.
Get your name up in lights. Anything.
Join a band, become a movie star or play
for a charity cricket match. Any of these
and you’re in. Failing that, a flashy car,
excellent pad, exciting personality, tons
of cash and being good in bed should
make you impossible to live without.
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